| ASK THE EXPERT |
Please share your
thoughts on marrying Jewish, dating Jewish, and any
other related areas. You can also ask Jewish dating
expert author Doron Kornbluth any questions that you
may have.
Contact us here. |
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Q: |
I’m a senior in high school and my
parents insist that I date only Jews. I don’t like the Jews in
my class. What should I do?
M.L. |
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DK: |
I was once lecturing
in Chicago when a bright young lady pulled me to the side and
said, “I do want to meet someone Jewish. But I don’t even like
half the Jews I meet.” I tried to suppress a smile as I
responded, “Only half?” The truth is that Jews come in all
shapes, sizes, attitudes, looks, whatever. There are over half a
million young Jewish singles in North America. That is a lot.
Try to connect to Jewish kids in other local schools. Get
involved in youth groups and try being a counselor in a Jewish
summer camp. Come to Israel for the year. Most of all, choose a
college that has a large Jewish population so you’ll have plenty
of people to meet. |
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Q: |
Where should a Golden Jewish
single (67 years old) meet eligible Jewish ladies? F.L.
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DK: |
DK: That’s an easy one. I’m
forwarding your email address to my aunt Dorothy. Just Kidding!
You shouldn’t have much of a problem: older Jewish men are
constantly being sought after. Try the ‘Getting Practical’
chapter in Why Marry Jewish? and the Seven Ways section
on this Web site. Good luck! |
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Q: |
Though I’ve just ordered the book and haven’t read it yet, I
basically agree with your premise that same-faith marriages on
the whole are happier and better for the children. The problem
is that I haven’t met anyone yet and don’t feel like waiting
around. I don’t live in an area where many other Jews live. I am
hoping that whomever I do meet will consider conversion.
J.K. |
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Q: |
Your book is fascinating but it doesn’t
seem to address conversion. Why not ask the non-Jewish partner
to convert? I.F. |
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DK: |
A sincere convert is as Jewish as anyone. Relying on your
partner converting, though, is a risky business. 95% of
intermarriages today do not result in conversion (30
years ago, over 30% did). With the recent acceptance of
intermarriage, non-Jews feel less motivation to look into a
different religion. Also, if a conversion is insincere, it won’t
usually change the family dynamic where one parent very much
values being Jewish and the other doesn’t. Finally, often it is
presumptuous to assume that the non-Jewish partner will or
should just ‘forsake’ their heritage for yours. They also
cherish their memories and values…. |
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Q: |
I’ve noticed that you recommend Web
dating. Is that really responsible? Men seem to just go for the
women with the looks. Plus you know nothing about the person,
except what they tell you. Isn’t that risky? |
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DK: |
It depends what you compare it
to. The chances of meeting someone Jewish are higher than just
meeting someone in a bar, where you also can’t really check them
out. Web dating is not my preferred method, for the reasons you
mentioned along with others, but if you are careful, it can pay
off. If you are uncomfortable with the idea, then it is not for
you. |
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